Closed Doors
by GreenEmeraldGirlxoxo
Summary: What exactly happens behind closed doors? Well, Ash just may regret asking. CS and a side of PS. M to be safe, maybe...


**Haha, just some other random blurb to make it's way into my head. Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. . . In fact, I might not even own the plot.**

**~(~)~**

"Hey, Brock? Where's May?" Ash questioned, poking the dark skinned man.

"I think she's back at the room with Drew." A few dirty thoughts entered Brock's mind.

"What are they doing?" Ash stood up. Brock stifled a laugh, 'I think I can think of a few things six-teen year olds could be doing.'

Instead, Brock shrugged, "I don't know. Go find out for yourself."

Ash nodded thoughtfully, "I think I will. Thanks Brock!" Ash rushed off to the room, and knocked lightly on the door.

"May! Drew! What are you doing?" He called softly, only to be answered with:

"Ugh, Dreeeeeew!" A female voice moaned. 'Was that May?' Ash wondered franticly.

"Uhhhhhhhhh." A male groaned. 'Drew!'

"H—hurry up! Move faster!" The one Ash assumed was May moaned again. Ash's eyes widened. 'What the heck are they doing!'

"Will do." Drew grunted back.

Ash backed away from the door into the wall. It took a moment for him to regain his senses, then he sprinted down the halls, screaming for Brock.

"Brock!" Ash panted once he found Brock in the same spot he left him.

Brock raised an eyebrow, "So, what are they doing?"

"Well, I heard moaning, and groaning and strange noises. What does it mean, Brock?" Ash demanded, eyes wide.

Brock choked on his coffee, and stared incredulously at the seven-teen year old. 'Could it be possible for Ash to _not_ know what sex was?" The expression on Ash's face made it a hundred percent sure to Brock that Ash had no idea what sex was.

"Ash, it's time you learn about the birds and the bees." Brock said loudly, loud enough to get dirty looks from other trainers.

"The. . . Birds and the bees. . .? I—I don't understand. . . ?"

Brock sighed, this was going to be painful, "Well, you see Ash, when a man and a women love each other very much, something happens between them." Ash nodded, intrigued.

"First, it usually starts with dating, kissing, and nothing more than that. You with me?" Ash nodded again, "After awhile, when the couple is in love, they decide to take their relationship to the next level."

"Stop! Take this talk outside!" Nurse Joy said finally, not wanting to hear the 'talk' from a teenager.

"It's because I'm black, isn't it?" Brock yelled, as Ash dragged him out of the Pokémon center, eager to hear the rest of the tale.

"Okay, go on." Ash plopped down on a park bench, with Pikachu on his lap. Brock sat next to the dense boy.

"Yes, okay. So, next they go somewhere private. Example; bedroom, backseat of a car, closet, Pokémon center. And some stuff goes down." Brock shifted un-comfortably.

"Like what?" Ash's brown eyes reflected his curiosity.

"Well, there's oral sex maybe, sex, or just fondling." Brock sighed.

"What the heck are those things?" Ash demanded.

"I'm getting there! You don't need to know about oral sex or fondling. It's sex I'm talking about. Sex, is a completely natural and healthy thing. Sex is beautiful." After another twenty minutes of explaining what sex was, Ash's face twisted with disgust.

"Ugh, eck, they're doing that? How is that natural and healthy? And what the heck is a condom?"

Brock stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small square packet and put it in Ash's hand. "I present, a condom!" Brock yelled proudly.

Ash eyed the packet wearily, "Are you really that small down there?"

All the colour drained from Brock's face, "What? No! Open the package stupid!"

Ash ripped the top off the packet and pulled out the slimy product. "Ewww, why is it slimy?"

"Didn't I already explain why it's helpful? No, I guess not." Brock shook his head, and pulled out a banana from his backpack. "Give me that." Ash handed it over, and Brock slid the contraption over the banana, "See? Now you can't impregnate a girl!" Some random guy walked by, and shook his head.

"Oh, okay?" Ash still didn't get it, but didn't say anything.

"Yup! Now, anymore questions?" Brock asked, standing up to toss his condom covered banana into the garbage.

"Yeah, what the hell did sex have to do with birds and bees?" Brock sweat-dropped, and Ash was on his feet, "I have to make sure Drew's using a condom!" And Ash was gone, sprinting into the building.

"Great. . ."

**~(~)~**

"Drew! You better be using a condom! I don't want May to end up pregnant! The world has enough Drew's! It doesn't need more!" Ash yelled into the door, pounding against the wooden frame.

The door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled Drew with an irritated expression, "What the hell do you want, dope?"

"I want to make sure your using a condom!" Ash said proudly, beating his chest with his fists.

"What?"

"Nevermind that!" Ash shoved past Drew, "May! I want you to take a pill!"

"For what?" May chirped, sitting on a chair at a table.

"To make sure your not pregnant with his demon spawn!" Ash yelled, and May blushed.

Drew rolled his eyes, "This dumbass thinks we had sex." May's face darkened.

Ash turned on Drew, gasping, "_You_ know what sex is?"

Drew pinched the bridge of his nose, "No shit. Everyone knows what sex is. Who doesn't?"

Ash's hand shot into the air, "I didn't up until five minutes ago. When Brock explained the birds and the bees, although I have no idea what birds and bees have to do with sex. Brock also said that a condom prevents un-wanted pregnancies, and he showed me how to use one with a banana!" Ash boasted proudly, grinning like a fool.

May rolled her eyes, and Drew decided to mess with Ash, "Who ever said May and I didn't plan a pregnancy?"

"It's me and May, duh. And I did! I won't allow May to be infected with your demonic spawn!" Drew gave Ash a WTF look.

"Ash, whatever gave you the idea that Drew and I had sex?" May asked, trying to defuse the situation.

Ash blushed, "Uh, because I came to see what you guys were doing, and I heard noises coming from the other side of the door. So I told Brock and he told me you guys had sex."

Drew smack his forehead, "Ash, we were playing a _board _game."

"What?" Ash's eyes widened, and May giggled. "Then why did May moan your name?" May flushed.

"Because I was beating her." Drew responded, taking the seat across from May.

"Why did she say, 'Hurry up! Go faster!'?"

Drew growled, "Because I was taking my sweet ass time rolling the dice."

"You know, it's not actually a sentence if you start it with because." Ash stated, crossing his arms.

Drew raised a challenging eyebrow, "Yeah? Do you have a basis for that?"

"Because it isn't!" Ash snapped, ever so smartly.

"Hey, Ash? That wasn't a sentence. Now get the hell out of here before I kill you." Drew threatened, and Ash scrambled out of the room.

"Drew. . . You don't need to be so harsh! Why did you lie to him? I mean. . . There isn't even a game board in here. . . Why didn't you actually tell him what we were doing?" Drew stood up, and helped May up, bringing her to the circle of his arms.

"Well, first off, Ash is a fucking retard, and would believe any shit that spilled from my mouth. Second, we didn't have sex. We made love." May smiled at his cheesiness, but still had to say:

"It's not nice to say retard. Also, it's kind of a turn off that you said, 'shit that spilled from my mouth.' Do you go around eating crap and then spitting it back out. . . ?"

Drew kissed her lightly, "See? This is why I love you. You and your stupid denseness." He kissed her again, with more force, "And no I don't go around eating shit." He backed her up to the bed, and forced her down. "Ready for round three?"

May blushed, "Sure."

**~(~)~**

"Brock! May and Drew weren't actually having s—Why are you on the phone with Professor Oak, Gary and my mom?"

Brock ignored Ash and said, "Delia, I'm sorry! I taught your son the ways of the force! I told him everything! I even showed him the banana condom! Oak, I'm sorry! I knew you wanted to give him the talk! Gary, I'm sorry you couldn't be here to see it!"

Before they could say anything, Brock hung up and dialed Misty.

"Misty! It's horrible!" Ash's eyes widened, 'he wouldn't?'

Brock caught Ash's eye from the corner of his, "Misty! I had to give Ash the talk! Now he'll be coming for you! Lock your doors and windows! The rapist is on his wayyyyyy!"

Ash's eye twitched, "Pikachu! Use thunder bolt!" Pikachu hesitated, but complied none the less, and electrocuted Brock.

"Uh. . . Brock? Are you okay? Ash? Are you there?" The red head asked, confused.

Ash sat in the seat Brock had just been occupying, "Hey, sorry about what he said. Misty, do you know what the birds and the bees have to do with sex?"

Misty sweat-dropped.

"Someone get the polysporn (sp?)! We have a fired black guy emergency back here!" Nurse Joy yelled.

**Wow, that last bit is random. Actually, the whole fucking thing was random and not very detailed. Sorry if it's shit. I wrote it at 3:30 A.M, so I'm tired. Oh, and I have nothing against black people. In fact, I think black people are epic. I always wanted Brock to say that. :D So, review this shit please! Hell, I don't even care if they're flames! A review is a review! Oh, can some tell me what AU is? I have yet to figure it out. . .**

**~Emerald~**


End file.
